You love me but you dont know who I am. . .

Thursday, February 9, 2006

3:30PM

Well I know its been a long time, but a lot has changed in my life over the past few months, hell the past few weeks or maybe even days. I guess I have come to the conclusion that I want to do what I want to do for me, not for others. I know I have people in my life who care about me, but they care about themselves first, and that's the way it should be. I guess its just time for me to start caring about myself first too. It's ruff right now with Nick gone, school seeming to never end and all the responsibility I have, but I know I can make it though. I just need to learn to lean on others as much as I let them lean on me. I know that might sound like a controdiction to what I just said, but its not. What I mean is I need to:

1. Realize that people have busy lives and need to take care of themselves first
2. Realize that I need to take care of myself first
3. Realize that just because they falling all over themselves to be there for me, that doesn't mean they
don't care
4. Learn to ask for help when I need it
5. Accept people for who and what they are

I guess overall its time for a mindset switch. -sigh- I know its not going to be easy, but anything worth it is worth working for. I just need to realix and take things one day at a time. Easier said than done, but I think, no, I know I can. I just gotta have FAITH = )

Current mood:

calm

(1 bad actor | show me your love)

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

3:02PM

Confusion
It takes over a day
The never ending struggle
Revaluation never seems to far away
Nor does it ever penetrate
taking over life

Reality
A word used to sternly
to "matter of fact"
A place with such boarders
Such bounders
No one would want to live there

Time
A thought without thinking
The starting point of life
the dotted yellow line
which guides us on our journey
Taking in a new direction

Love
The meaning behind the action
The most perfect reason
The greatest pleasure
The deepest pain

Family
The reason for problems
The reason for successes
The tension on the rope
The pull in the opposite direction
The check and balance on decisions

Friends
A comforting voice
A shoulder to cry on
A world full of memories
A relationship full of joy
An addition to the family

Work
The filler of the day
A way to feel important
to gain respect
The backbone of life
The harvest to rep the reward

Life
The brown paper bag
The keeper of all these treasures
The vehicle on this journey
and the journey itself

I WROTE THIS POEM ALONG TIME AGO. IT WAS IN ONE OF MY OLD LIVEJOURNALS AND I DECIDED THAT I WANTED IT IN THIS ONE TOO. = )